Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
