I didn't shave. On purpose
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
