Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize