whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
