I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
