Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize