Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
