He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
