Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
