Welp...herpes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
