what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize