So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
