I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
