Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
