..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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