Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
