Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
