Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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