i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Panties = found
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
