white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
