the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
