It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
