Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
