ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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