Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
