Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
