It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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