she was so not down for the gang bang
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
