maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
