I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
