we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
