my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
