Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize