Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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