k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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