He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
