Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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