On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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