I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my shit smells like andre
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
