and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
