Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
