I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize