just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
