When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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