Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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