well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize