How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
