Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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