So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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