i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
operation harelip BJ is a go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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