I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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