as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm both gender and math confused
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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