just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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