You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
