So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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