okay pat passed out under dana's car
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
