is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
