If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize