My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
