did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I love you.
Bad choice
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
